Queen Bee Presents, So Help Me Lord!

Seriously?

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Seriously? Seriously, I have to clean my floors again? I already sweep the dining room three times a day, and I just mopped, like, 2 days ago, but already I have to do it again? Does it ever end? DOES THIS EVER END?!!

Oh hey, I just started typing and my toddler, Eli, who spent 45 minutes crying himself to sleep for his nap, just woke up crying after 30 minutes of sleeping.  I’m so excited to see him again. Gee, I hope he’s poopy, because the two nasties I changed this morning just really left me unsatisfied in the “how many diapers can I possibly change in one day” department. I wonder if my four year old, Gabriel, is going to pull all the pillows off the couches and chairs again and pile them in the middle of the floor for no reason whatsoever? Why do I even have all those stupid, pretty pillows?

Mmm…I LOVE the feel of cheerios under my feet when I walk through the house! Yes, children, PLEASE follow me around the house while I work. Cleaning the bathroom just wouldn’t be the same without all three of us packed between the counter and the toilet!

Lately, when I’ve started to slip into “dark” mode and feel that my long, boring, seemingly pointless days have piled up into one big rat-king of a life where I’m left wondering what good I’m doing, or even what I’m doing, on this earth, I have tried to look at my position in life as follows (emphasis on try):

This is my job. Period. Why do I think I am a pathetic slave of a person? Am I the only adult who has to clean a house? Am I the only adult who cooks meals? Serves food? Busses a table? Wipes bottoms? Millions of people are going to their jobs each and every day and doing exactly these things. In fact, I’m lucky! I only have to make three meals and two snacks a day for two children and two adults. I only have to bus one table and sweep the floor three times a day. I only have to pick up one house a few times a day. I only have to wipe two very cute, young little bottoms (major props to all CNAa’s/RN’s out there who are wiping, er, not so cute or young bottoms).

No, I do not have a boss who hands me a paycheck. But I have a husband who hands me his paycheck. With this, I pay the rent, car payment and bills – just like I would if it were my paycheck.  If I need something else, I buy it. Who cares who the paycheck was made out to? So enough of this, “I don’t get paid to be a stay-at-home mom junk.” I take care of my children and I get room and board, plus bonuses! Sweet!

I try to look at my daily schedule as my work schedule. When I’m sick of picking up the toys in the living room and straightening the rug and pushing the couches back to their original positions, I say to myself, “This is like your waiting room. Keeping it nice and picked up is part of the job description.” At my last job, before baby #2, one of the receptionist’s duties was to periodically throughout the day straighten the waiting rooms. I worked at a medical diagnostic and intervention center for child abuse, so we had several waiting areas, two of which were filled with toys. She didn’t complain about this task. She didn’t yell, “I just picked UP this room, and already you monsters have managed to destroy it AGAIN!!!” For her, it was requirement of the job, not to mention a good feeling to keep a nice, warm, inviting place clean for the precious children who spend time there.

My job is not a real job as defined by society today. But in the eyes of God, I have quite a career. He gave me my little “seeds” and it’s up to me to water them, feed them and nurture them so they grow into wonderful, fruitful plants (even though some days I am convinced I’m tending a couple of weeds). But whether working in the home or out of the home, there’s a whole chapter dedicated to “working” moms in the Bible. Just read Proverbs 31:10-31. Even if you know this chapter oh so well, read it once a week to remind yourself how much it would stink to be friends with this woman. NO, I’m kidding, read it because this is God’s description of a beautiful woman and if anything, it’s a great job description and to follow it will “give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” (And I am friends with this woman. It’s actually not so bad. Margarita Burnson, I’m talking about you!)

Father God, when I was young I expected to grow up and have an amazing career and instead You have given me an amazing career! Okay, so my idea of an amazing career was different than Your idea of an amazing career, and I thank You for guiding me down the right career path. Wonderful Advisor and Counselor! You said, “Melissa, I see you don’t like taking care of kids very much, and you hate serving others and you think quite highly of the little intellect you have and expect very big, material things for yourself. I think your major should be motherhood, with a minor in housekeeping.” And since then, You have been humbling me and molding me into an image that will better glorify You instead of glorifying myself. Because to glorify myself is to glorify dust and ashes, and there is no beauty in that. Amen

 

 

12 Responses

  1. Barbara says:

    This is priceless. Seriously. It made me laugh AND cry. Thank you so much!

  2. Christie says:

    I always knew you were an awesome person, but I never knew you were *this* awesome! I’m so proud of you, Mel! You are an awesome big sister to look up to. Love you!

  3. melody says:

    Beautiful writing, Melissa! And great reminders.

  4. Sarah says:

    Melissa, I just finished reading your blog posts, and I just want to say THANK YOU! I am the mother of only one little monster right now (second one on the way), and I can relate to everything you’ve said! I’ve had almost every experience, almost exactly like yours. The days of cleaning and cooking, and dinner not coming out right and crying on the kitchen floor (made all better by a husband to pray with me, isn’t that the greatest?); the unappreciative toddler, and wishing my 1 year old could understand and relate to me like an adult; the toddler that spends 45 minutes crying and 30 minutes sleeping, the poopy diapers, the cheerios… it almost sounds like you’ve been living my life. I cried as I read your post “So Help Me, Lord” because I relate 100% and it’s so good to know that I’m not the only one that feels like I’m constantly on the verge of falling apart.

    Also, I had to laugh as I read your bio… I too planned my funeral as a child. Anyway, seriously, thank you for writing this blog. I can’t wait to see what goes into your “store” section!

  5. Heather says:

    Keep the writing coming! Another excellent post.

  6. Margarita Burnson says:

    Flattered Melissa, although I have a LONG way to go to reach the Prov. 31 woman status! We have many a day just like the one you described! You are an awesome mom, wife, homemaker and I am honored to be your friend. Love you!

  7. Sally O says:

    You know what’s cool? All of the “stuff” will someday fade and what you’ll remember and treasure is how much you loved being at home with your babies.

    • Melissa says:

      Oh, I know! It fades every day already. By bedtime I have somehow convinced myself that the day was a success and I have lovely children. Although some days I’m left clenching my teeth and repeating, “Must…treasure…these…moments…”

  8. Erin says:

    Hi! Heather McMahon told me about your blog and I love it… it’s so great. And, I totally get you on the floors (and dirty diapers) thing. Between my three kids and my golden retriever, I feel like my floors are covered with dirt and hair and grime before I even finish sweeping. And, the baby’s diaper is wet/dirty before I even finish getting it on. :) Anyway, great to “meet” you.

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